Stammering, depression and Parkinson's can take away the means by which my conscious intention, both physically and emotionally, is expressed. This raises a question: if the means of expression are missing, what is the value of the intention? If the fruit is not picked and withers on the branch what value does it have?
I have a fundamental need in me to care, to help out and to show empathy. However, to fulfil this need in actions I must have sufficient emotional and physical tools available to me. My problems have impeded the development of these tools; the fruit has grown but the means to pick it and give it to someone is not there.
Nonetheless, the value of this fruitless fruit is if I stop trying and allow the tree to die I destroy the possibility of ever giving the fruit away. At least growing the fruit, even if it is left alone and withers, includes the chance of someone reaching up, picking the fruit and giving their value to my effort.